Day 24

Wow, only 6 more days of this first 30 Day Challenge!  I have kicked ass and taken names!

Today's workout was pretty intense.  I thought it was gonna be easy, because all the exercises in the circuit were pretty simple, but man was I wrong.  Especially after last night's ass-kicking, tonight's workout was a challenge.  But I did it and I rocked that shit, and my body is showing it!  I am now solidly hovering at the 155 lb mark, which is awesome.  It'll be exciting to get down to 150!  I've been honing my diet and really enjoying it.  I had lots of really good food today and it felt really satisfying.

Things that were great today:  Hot hot shower in the morning, washing my hair with coconut water shampoo and conditioner, moisturizing my skin, giving Ollie an empty peanut butter jar to work on while I was away, getting my errands done before work (deposit check, buy organic food bars, now with protein!  yay!), friendly greetings at the Chiropractor's office (where I buy the food bars... I really should just buy them in bulk at this point), buying myself a Kevita drink (mango coconut, yum! probiotics!), getting to work early and easing my way into the day, making Suzy G a latte first thing, encountering THE HOTTEST MAN I have seen in a long time (seriously, I became so flustered and breathless that I needed to go into the dishroom and freak out a little bit.  I haven't had such a strong visceral reaction to a man in I don't know how long, but I loved every minute of it), enjoying the playful banter between kitchen boys and waitstaff about whether he is gay or not (he's not, I know someone who knows him and I asked... tee hee!), having an over all good day at work, appreciating the familial interactions between staff members, leisurely bussing tables and re-setting them, making drinks for folks, seeing some friends of mine, delighting people with wonderful dessert presentations, making myself the BEST salad EVER (we have a sandwich called the Michel, which is spinach, herbed aioli, cranberry chutney, brie, and bacon on a toasted baguette... so I just replaced the baguette with a massive amount of spinach, added a few slices of avocado, and drizzled it with our pomegranate-cumin dressing, as well as some roasted garlic vinaigrette.  PERFECTION!  I even melted the brie onto the bacon.  SO YUM.), orgasming through every bite of sweet and bacony goodness, deciding that I want to stick around this place a while longer, making an even deeper decision to stop trying to create the next thing (I've decided this will be part of my next 30 Day Challenge, to just enjoy where I am and stop actively trying to create anything else.  Just be and let new things arrive, because that's what things do... they just arrive.  I'll start this new challenge tomorrow, so I can have each month be a new one), listening to my music on shuffle (starting with Red Rabbits by the Shins) while cleaning up, feeding the fishies, getting my tips and such and encountering the whole staff downstairs talking about being human and having human emotional experiences (interesting, wish I'd heard the beginning of the conversation), walking home in the sunshine and icy air (bundled up nicely), taking little Ollie to the park for a good walk, seeing a little pack of high schoolers approach and become scared when they saw Ollie (off leash, probably 20 yards away, just sniffing at some stuff and being completely harmless), they stop to argue with each other about whether to go that way (the guys in the group were like "wtf, it's just a dog" and the girls were like "OH FUCK NO WE ARE NOT GOING THAT WAY."), suddenly Ollie realizes they're there and comes running at them barking like crazy and they all run away screaming!  HILARIOUS!  I thought I would die, I really had to hold it in until I got far enough away from them all!  Wow.  Anyway, texting my bossy that I have decided to stick around for a while longer because I love it so much there, getting home for a brief moment and buying the Money First Aid course from the Divine Openings website, reading the first page of it and immediately feeling some relief on the subject, walking to my friend's house to see if he had a charger that would work for my computer (didn't work, but recently I discovered the one he fixed for me does charge my macbook while it's shut down, and it keeps it going while it's on, so there's no immediate need for a new cord anyway), walking to the bus stop, watching Zuzka's video before getting on the bus, riding up and meditating along the way, grabbing a spring roll on the way to rehearsal (pretty tasty), rehearsing for a class assignment that I'm helping a girl with from one of the acting classes, getting out earlier than I thought we would and walking downtown, heading straight for the gym and grabbing one of their "Just Great Stuff" bars that are for sale there, changing and feeling pretty badass while I ate my cocoa-açai bar, kicking ass in my workout (only 12 minutes long for the intense part, but still!  Super intense!  Surprising!), stretching and then eating one of my organic food bars with protein (yum!), heading over to meet my friend and stopping by a thrift store to try on one of the dresses in the window (it didn't quite fit me, but it was awesome to look at my transforming body in the mirror!  I can't wait to go clothes shopping for my new body this spring!  I just realized how AWESOME that's gonna feel!), heading over to a tapas bar to meet my former roommate and hash out an agreement for her moving out (it's really working out in my favor!  I get the month of March to myself here!  Sweet!), eating a delicious little piece of potato-quiche-type stuff with some mixed greens on the side and a garlic aioli (delicious), finishing that off with grapefruit truffles and some Pelligrino Arranciata, walking home bundled up and having a nice conversation with her, getting home and reconnecting with my Ollie Bear, tossing his toy around for him, sitting for a long while and just existing in my body (wow it feels so good, when was the last time I really did that?  That's for sure going to be part of my 30 Day Challenge), reading a good and very relevant passage from Things Are Going Great, reading my old college essay and marveling at the wisdom of my 18-year-old self and her newly discovered spirituality (and at how much it has blossomed since then, but just deepened and strengthened that first inner discovery), loving up my dog and his sweet little canine self, getting puppy kisses from him and just loving it, playing with my imagination for a few minutes, enjoying this nightly reminisce of my day and how much I enjoyed it.

I'm really glad I am where I am.  Everything is working out for me and I am so ready to get out of the way now.  This month I am committed to just exist in what I have created so far, knowing I have created it and that it is temporary.  I am committed to not striving to fix or change anything about my reality as it is, but rather to find things that are already here and available to me which I can appreciate.  I am committed to gleaning as much pleasure from this reality I'm already in as I possibly can.  My next 30 Day Challenge begins tomorrow, March 1, and I will continue to record my pleasures and appreciations here on a daily basis.  I have 6 more days of this current Challenge, and I have 14 more days of my Zuzka 30 Day Fitness Plan, after which I will continue to do her weekly fitness plans.

So!  It is with a happy heart that I bid myself goodnight!  I will be having brunch with a friend/co-worker tomorrow morning sometime, which I look forward to immensely.  It's also pancakes/bacon/eggs day and I am super excited for it!

Ciao!

Love,
Adrienne

Day 23

Today's workout was amazing!  So challenging!  I didn't think I could do clap pushups, but I did 30 today!  I felt like such a badass!  So stoked.

So much improvement in my strength and stamina since I first started this fitness plan.  I fully intend to continue working out with Zuzka every week when her 30 Day Plan is finished.  I'm halfway through her plan, on Day 15, and I am KILLING IT!  I am so stoked about this, I've never felt so passionate and committed to my body.  

Today was actually great.  In the moment I was stressed at times, but I've decided to approach my job the same way I've been approaching my workouts.  With an "I can do it, yes there is going to be some pain but it's gonna be worth it on the other side," attitude.  

I read the perfect article tonight from Lola's newsletter, and it was exactly what I have been going through.  Maintaining your high in the midst of others who are low.  Whose vibration is stronger?  Who will win out?  I've been thinking about arm wrestling and how much better I'll be at it after working out with Zuzka for a while.  The strength in my body is increasing tremendously.  Now I want to strengthen my vibration and keep myself in my high, clear center.  I don't have to be perfect, just like I'm not perfect in form and such in my workouts.  But I'm getting better and I'm decidedly heading towards what I want.  I intend to do this with my vibration.  

Things today that were great:  quick hot shower (pits, tits and ass!), putting on a sexy outfit with stockings and tube skirt, bundling up and braving the cold, stopping by the co-op for some breakfast (clif bar for breakfast, builders bar for pre-workout... Was going to be post-workout, but I was hungry and running out of time), getting to work and heading downstairs for some slicing action, listening to music while I sliced perfectly thin meat, coming upstairs just as the morning rush was dying, drinking hot chocolate and remembering Paris and the Czech Republic, eating an entire sausage (two halves really) with cranberry chutney and a homemade croissant that was un-eaten (so good, like a big gourmet pig-in-a-blanket, finishing service and making an adorable little salad for lunch, encountering a fellow acting student and chatting about upcoming auditions, eating my lunch with my cafe family, realizing how much I appreciate my job there, celebrating our dishwasher's 10 year anniversary of working at the cafe (the baker made crunch sugar cookies iced with fun slogans that frequently come from this colorful character's mouth), dipping these sugar cookies in decaf coffee and enjoying every bite!

Listening to my music on shuffle as we cleaned up, getting my tips and paycheck, stopping by a Craigslister's house and buying a sweet vintage hat box covered in images of Paris, stopping by a consignment shop and browsing for household items, buying a set of plates that remind me of Paris as well as the perfect soap dish (found on the way out!) and some other items, getting home and placing the new items in their proper places, taking Ollie out for a little poopie, jerking off and taking a little snooze, watching Zuzka's video for my workout, getting psyched and prepping for the gym, heading out and feeling ready for my workout, kicking ass at some motherfucking clap pushups, postponing a rehearsal until tomorrow evening, stretching and listening to low-key music, resting and then heading out, making it home all bundled against the cold, enjoying my puppy dog, making myself a kickass dinner (the last of the broccoli, some onions, and potatoes, sautéed in butter and tossed in pesto, on top of a little bit of spring mix and a whole lot of broccoli sprouts, topped with 2 fried eggs and Frank's Red Hot.  Perfection!), devouring every bite and licking the plate, washing my dish and settling into my throne, soothing myself and grounding my power, reading the perfect article from Lola, grounding more and petting my dog, reflecting on my day with peacefulness and appreciation, looking forward to tomorrow's opportunity to stay grounded in my powerful Now and hold to my agenda of being happy and aligned with Source, breathing and drinking water and letting go, reading Things Are Going Great In My Absence.

I am so glad I didn't go to sleep fully in the middle of my day, I got a lot done and it was all pretty perfectly timed.  My number one commitment is to me.  All others must bow to it.  

Thank you.  I love you.

Love,

Adrienne 

Day 22

Today was my rest day.  I just got back from the gym where I meditated and talked myself through some stuff.  It was good.

Things that were great today:  sleeping WAY in (holy shit, 12 hours of sleep?!), getting my underwear and towels washed (huh, why didn't I ever think of doing just that sometimes instead of waiting to do all of the laundry at once?), eating a heaping bowl of broccoli an onions and potatoes with two fried eggs and sprouts and Frank's Red Hot, booking it to the bus stop and making my way up the hill for my modeling gig at the University, modeling and doing my best to relax while I did it, finishing up and being asked to model twice more next week, booking it across campus to grab some snacks before visiting class, feeling instantly uplifted once I arrived at the studio, getting to play with my friends onstage, watching all of my fellow actors grow and become amazing artists, being made fun of by my teacher/friend for having so many snacks (lol, it was pretty silly, I had everything spread out), finding out one of my teachers will be gone for 3 weeks and that I might get to be the TA for a day (yay!!), getting a ride home from a good friend, having my neighbor unlock my door for me because I left my keys at home by accident (thank god she was home!  It was bitter cold out!), eating carrots and peanutbutter, watching Ollie chew on a big broccoli stump I gave him, heading to the gym and meditating for a bit, pep-talking myself, realizing I don't have to be perfect at all of this, weighing in and discovering I'm at 150 lbs (yay!), enjoying the walk back while listening to music, eating more carrots and peanutbutter, discovering that my recycling has been taken care of without any effort on my part, sitting here with my friend Ollie and realizing that today was actually a pretty good day.

I'm ready to take a step back and stop trying to control my life and the outcomes.  I am ready to take the steps that I can control (going to the gym, eating well, drinking enough water, going to bed on time, talking gently and encouragingly to myself, saying yes to opportunities that are fully in alignment with Who I Am and what I love, enjoying the little things).  I am ready to let go to my Large Self, knowing that I won't always be fully up to speed with it all, but that my intention is what counts.  

I'm ready to get out of the way.

Love, 

Adrienne 

Day 21

Today I did Zuzka's Power Yoga #3, which was really good.  I like how her yoga workouts are similar to her regular workouts, but toned down a notch.  It's much more dynamic and fun than most yoga I've done.

Things today that were great:  sleeping in, getting up and taking a hot shower, shaving my legs, moisturizing my body, making a kickass breakfast (asparagus, broccoli and onions sautéed in butter, with avocado and two fried eggs, Frank's Red Hot.  DELISH!), dropping one of my eggs spectacularly on the stovetop and discovering the yolk eas still intact (kept it! Ate it!), wolfing it all down because I realized I missed my bus and would have to take a cab, getting reimbursed for the cab ride, acting for a Directing class at the college (professor who leads the class is FUCKING AWESOME!!), riding the bus back downtown, browsing Urban Outfitters, heading to the Mate' Factor for a perfect Green smoothie with blueberries and flax oil added, hopping over to the gym and doing Zuzka's power yoga in the little yoga/meditation room, meditating and communing with the Presence, feeling excited and getting changed, enjoying the rest of my smoothie, heading home, moving some of my clothes and things into my new room (I'll do the rest tomorrow), eatin carrots with peanut butter and maple syrup mixed, giving myself a gentle caress and cuddle, snoozing for a few minutes, making myself a pretty good dinner (sliced tomatoes, onions and red peppers, sautéed in butter and topped with two more eggs and hot sauce.... It became like a stew after a while.  Pretty tasty), going over to my friend's house where he let me borrow his power adaptor so I could use my MacBook to send my resume to this potential new employer, sending it out while he fiddled around with my chewed-up power cord (he fixed it!  Sort of... I can use it temporarily in the meantime of getting a new one.  Cool!  Thanks dude!), coming home and watching my dog romp around outside, enjoying a nice warm bowl of Butternut Squash and Gruyere soup, being asked advice on acting from a fellow student, enjoying the sleepy feeling come over me at a reasonable time!  I am so glad to be getting to bed on time tonight!  I look forward to starting my day early tomorrow, going to the gym in the morning and getting my laundry done.  

Thanks, Source!  I'm giving it all over to you now.

Love,

Adrienne 

Day 20

Just finished working out.  Pretty killer workout.  Pistol squats are hard as fuck.  

Things today that were great:  sleeping in, waking up to a phone call from a potential future employer, setting up a job interview with said employer, hot shower, getting dressed for work, receiving a phone call from another potential future employer, walking to work, putting out desserts (nibbling on chocolate ganache pieces that I had to cut off to make the cake prettier ;), slow morning allowed me to go to the co-op next door for a Builder's bar and a kombucha, chatting with co-workers about relationships, making whipped cream and serving it to an excited customer with a pavlova, tasting the soup (an amazingly tasty roasted butternut squash soup with gruyere), being told by a stranger that I have a beautiful smile (aw shucks), making myself a delicious salad while chatting with co-workers and boss about fitness, enjoying a delicious lunch which included the butternut squash soup (yum!), fun jokes at the lunch table, finding out that there was leftover soup that I could take home (yay!  I'm gonna have a bowl when I get home!), informing my boss that I am job hunting, listening to music while cleaning up, making my way home to discover my roommate is completely moved out and left me with some things I needed (thanks girl), finding myself softened by her generosity, changing my outfit and walking down to my job interview, going to the wrong building but seeing a friend there that I had just been thinking of (wondering where he had said he was working now... Turns out it was there!), making it to the site of the interview and enjoying a relaxed and fun chat with the sales manager who conducted the interview, feeling confident that I made a good impression and finding myself surprisingly intreagued by the prospect of such a job, feeling it out as I walked home, stopping by an awesome bargain outlet and finding things I needed for my home (bath rug, dish towels, pasta strainer, cooking knives, batteries) all for super cheap!  Realizing that I could go there for my curtains and rugs and stuff (everything, really), walking home and enjoying taking my new treasures out and putting them all away (my first set of kitchen knives!  And even a block to keep them in on the counter!  Cool!), taking a little nap, emailing the sales manager decisively saying yes I am interested in doing this job, giving it over to the Universe now, making the best chicken ever (marinated in the sauce from the leftover pork tenderloin from last week.  Holy yum batman!) on top of spring mix, lounging about, fighting off sleep because I hadn't been to the gym yet, having a good conversation with my mom on the phone, cuddling with my doggie, watching my Zuzka video of the day, eating carrots and peanut butter, listening to Sean Connery recite a poem called Ithaca (a very beautiful suggestion to enjoy the journey of life while you are on your way to your dreams, savoring the waiting and becoming rich with wisdom and worldly experience along the way), finally mustering up the will to go to the gym, bundling up and singing my way here, arriving and kicking ass (enjoying the visible changes in my body as I jumped rope with high knees), stretching, lying in shivasana for a long while, anticipating a delicious bowl of soup when I arrive home.  

It's been a good day.  Full of potential changes and all of the ensuing emotions when such changes begin to take place. Excitement, ambivalence, curiosity, and more excitement.  I can't wait to see what's just around the river bend!

Love,

Adrienne 

Day 19

Today would have been Day 11 from Zuzka's 30 Day Fitness Plan, but for some reason the video for that day wasn't showing up on my phone.  So instead, I did that ZRopes workout that I was doing a few weeks ago.  I started my first round doing 30 basic bounces instead of 20, and went up by 10 from there for each round.  I did 3 rounds!  Fuck yeah!  I wrecked those burpees, especially the first set.  Plowed through all 20 non-stop.  Actually, the entire first round I plowed through like a monster!  It was pretty great :)

Things today that were great:  getting up and going to work in the nice morning weather, listening to "Happy" on the way into work, feeling pretty great and enjoying the morning chit chat, bacon (!!!), eating a Builder's bar and drinking a gingerade kombucha for breakfast, drinking lots of water, handling the morning onslaught with grace and clarity, encountering the noon craze and making it all work out, finishing strong and not letting myself get brought too far down, making myself a delicious salad with all kinds of ingredients (romesco, ham, sweet potatoes, kale, etc), listening to The Flaming Lips during cleanup, hilarious dirty jokes with my boss, running into a few friends on the corner as I walked home, making it home and having some new pots and pans delivered to me, walking Ollie to the park and watching him romp, returning home and crashing out for a few hours, having pretty interesting and lucid dreams in which I was claiming my power, waking up and lounging around for a long while, eating granola with peanut butter and craisins and coconut-almond milk, more lounging, eating cottage cheese with peaches, continuing to lounge and browse Craigslist, laughing at the personals ads, cuddling with my sweet puppy thing, remembering to drink water, getting ready for the gym, wearing the tiniest short shorts, bundling up and walking down to the gym singing all the way there, rocking the shit out of some motherfucking burpees, listening to Dirty Vegas, seeing so much improvement in my overall strength and endurance in my workout, nice long stretching session afterward, walking home and singing again, being the only one awake in the whole town (my workouts are occurring later and later in the night these days... I think my next challenge will be to get up earlier in the morning and do my workouts before starting the rest of my day), singing along to "Work It" by Missy Elliot, taking a hot shower at home and feeling my muscles melt, moisturizing my body, making myself a delicious dinner with my new pans (broccoli, asparagus, spinach, kidney beans, all sautéed in butter and tossed in pesto, topped with two fried eggs, hot sauce, and brocco-sprouts.  Yummy!), sitting down to write this with my puppy dog, listening to music (Eiffel 65 "Silicone Girl" at the moment.  Old school!)

I am turning new leaves, opening new chapters in my life.  I am ready for a new life and I am letting go of my fearful clinging to old habits and patterns.  There's nothing wrong with the way I've been creating my life, I've just outgrown it and am ready for something new.  I'm ready to step into something new, on all fronts in my life.  I'm tired of holding myself back from the things I want.  My party is waiting for me to show up!!  Here I am!  I'm coming!

Love,

Adrienne 

Day 18

Today was so good!  Rest day for me, so I went to the gym tonight and just stretched.  My abs are revealing themselves!  Pretty great!  My shoulders and arms and back are becoming really awesomely toned as well.  Cool!

Today was great because: I woke up and took a nice hot shower, shaved my legs, moisturized my whole body, drank water, let my doggie out and felt the warm sunshine on my face, chatted with my mom on the phone for a while, went to the Cafe for some Saturday brunch with Ollie (I remembered the peanut butter for my pancakes this time!), encountered one of our regulars and invited him to join me at my table, got to know him and learned about the cool work he does (he has created a technology that converts CO2 emissions into usable energy!  Wow!), he paid for my meal, left behind a coffee for me, another friend of mine was there for brunch and came by my table to say hi an we spent some time catching up, I walked to the park with Ollie and watched him romp through the melting snow, enjoyed the amazingly warm sunshine, walked home and balanced my checkbook, made a tithe, took a nap for about 20 minutes, got picked up by a friend of mine and went to dinner at his friend's house (pretty tasty rice concoction with blue corn chips and really yummy bread), ate a whole bar of dark chocolate with blueberries (yum!), traveled up to my hometown and played drums at a Kirtan, felt waves of bliss and ecstasy throughout the experience, enjoyed some really fun high-energy chants, reveled in the good-sized crowd of people at the event, had some fun socializing afterward, feeling opened and grounded, ate some delicious chocolate-covered strawberries and a German chocolate brownie (whoa sugar), making plans for drum lesson/massage exchanges with my other friend at the Kirtan, enjoyed fun conversation on the way home, got 10 bucks for playing (I would have played for free, the pleasure was so immense!), walked really briskly to the gym (I love walking fast when I don't really need to), stretching and doing Vinyasa flows in yoga pants and a sports bra, admiring my stunningly beautiful face and body, enjoying my awesome arms and back and ass in the mirror, walking home and listening to "Happy" with my new earbuds, singing out loud and skipping home, feeling "like a room without a roof," washing dishes and listening to music, listening to Abraham and relishing the blissful sensations rippling through my body as I let go to my Large Self and expand into broader knowing.  I am LOVING the direction my mind and body are taking!  I am so glad I have made and kept this commitment to myself.  It is really working!  I am steadily climbing higher and higher in my vibration, and I am stabilizing up here!  And I'm gaining more and more awareness and control over my vibration and my mental activity. I'm feeling so great!  My body feel amazing and I'm getting stronger by the day!  It's so excellent to watch myself transform in this tangible way.  God!  I'm almost orgasming with happiness!!

I love myself and my life!  This is so great!

Love,

Adrienne 

Day 17

Today I did Zuzka's ZWow workout from Day 9 of her 30 Day Fitness plan.  SO FUCKING INTENSE!  And I totally brought it!  Bam bitches!

Things that were great:  getting all my errands done in the morning before work, eating a chocolate organic food bar, walking through relatively warm rain and relishing the coming of spring, easy work day, seeing a bunch of different friends at the Cafe, encountering contrast and gaining my power from it, consciously shifting my thoughts to make myself feel better and transform my reality right in front of my eyes, opening up to a co-worker and allowing her to become a closer friend, having an AMAZING lunch of salad with fucking spectacular pork tenderloin in a prune-caper Dijon sauce, listening to The Books while we cleaned up, polishing lots of silverware, potential brunch plans for tomorrow morning with some good friends, coconut toffee chocolate bar afte work, running into yet another friend on the way home (rather, I was absorbed in my phone reading a script and he deliberately tried to run into me) and having a good chat, discovering that I can improve my MacBook at a pretty inexpensive rate with him, getting home and having a seat with Ollie for a moment while I collected my energy and read DO, walking downtown and making it just in time to catch the right bus up the hill, meeting with a fellow actor to go over our Well Well exercise, walking home at the speed of light, eating cottage cheese and peaches while I read more DO, enjoyed a nap for a couple of hours, woke up slowly and stretched my legs, drank water and made myself another salad with more of that amazing pork tenderloin (oh yeah, did I mention I got to take home the leftovers?! Ballin!), fantasized about how I'm gonna arrange my new room, got ready to go to the gym, washed all the dishes, went to the gym and heard my favorite song come on ("Happy" by Pharrel Williams), listened to that song while I changed in the locker room, worked out like a motherfucker, stretched a lot, gave myself an awesome pep talk, felt some feelings move (yummy yummy), weighed myself (down to 156.6 from 160, yay!), packed up and went home, glimpsed the crystal clear perfect half moon, eating yogurt with honey and granola, brushing my dog, playing with Ollie and teaching him new tricks, hangin out on my throne with my puppy friend and reading Zuzka's blog, uplifting a fellow Zuzka devotee, realizing that I was uplifting myself, enjoying the relaxed sleepiness washing over me as I type this, looking forward to pancakes and bacon and eggs tomorrow morning, feeling good about my life and the direction it's taking, relishing the transformation of my body and mind.

I'm so glad I have kept my commitment to myself.  Every time I think I might just flake out, I make a different decision.  I am sticking to it, and I am giving myself the gift of my own commitment.  I'm so thankful for all the resources available to me that are getting me to where I want to be (my gym, my job, my landlord, my friends and family, my dog, my God).  I can feel more and more strongly that everything is working out in my favor and I am on the right track.  I am doing so well and am climbing a steady upward trajectory.  All is well and I am doing a great job!  Thank you!

Love,

Adrienne 

Day 16

Today's workout was from Day 8 of Zuzka's 30 day fitness plan.  It was a really good workout.  Not particularly tough in terms of cardio, but I was definitely sweating at the end, and I can feel those ballerina squats in my thighs as I type this!  I'm glad I made it to the gym, I was feeling kinda sleepy, and on a day before this 30 Day Challenge, I would have skipped it for sleeping instead.  But fuck that!

Today was challenging, but I managed to find myself as a result of the contrast I experienced, so I'm really thankful for it.  

Things that were great:  first customers were a British family and I had fun explaining the difference between jam and jelly, the little boy saying "thank you" in his tiny British accent was the most adorable thing ever, finding a little bowl of hash that was going to be thrown out and eating it instead (it was even delicious cold), hearing a naughty joke from a co-worker that made me laugh really loudly, being recognized for the commercial I'm in locally, busy lunch rush, excellent sandwich for lunch (herbed aioli, cranberry chutney, bacon, turkey, red onions, gruyere, spinach, grilled on sour dough), walking home in the rain, encountering the contrast head-on and talking to the Divine and hearing wonderfully gentle responses, enjoying a nap for a few hours, waking up and balancing my checkbook, eating cottage cheese and peaches, sorting out my finances and tax forms, getting overwhelmed and frustrated and just dropping it all to call my mom and sister to tell them another joke I heard at lunch today, listening to a good recording of Abraham and feeling myself relax back into the Flow, making dinner (asparagus, onions, spinach, kidney beans, potatoes, sautéed in butter and tossed in pesto.... YUM!), eating dinner and asking myself effective questions ("how can I approach all of this from a more open standpoint?" "how can I see things differently than I might think they should be?"  "how can I relax about all of this and trust in the unfolding of it?"  "how can I enjoy myself where I am now?"), watching Zuzka and preparing myself for the gym, going to the gym and bringin' it!  Walking home and daydreaming about the summertime and all the sundresses I'm gonna wear, taking Ollie out for a late night walk, relaxing and enjoying the simplicity of walking my dog, daydreaming of new 30 Day Challenges I'll be doing in the future, remembering a new opportunity I received for a childcare position in exchange for a free membership at a really nice gym (with sauna, steam room, pool, hot tub, and lots of classes!), coming home and eating yogurt with honey and granola, reading the perfect passages from the DO book, sitting and enjoying my communion with the Divine, feeling love for my God and my friends and family, enjoying where I am right now.  

Everything truly is working out for me, I can feel it.  I am getting better and better at feeling my vibration and allowing it to raise.  I'm also becoming more and more intolerant to my own downward spirals!  They don't last long because I can't fucking stand how it makes me feel to be sloppy in my thinking!  I'm also becoming more and more reliable to myself and proving it to myself every time I make it to the gym and end my day with this list of appreciation.  I'm thankful for all of this.

Love,

Adrienne 

Day 15

Today was great.  It was my active rest day, and it sure was active!  Lots of fast walking to get places on time.  

Things that were great:  waking up after lots of sleep, taking several moments to remember where I am in space-time and circumstances, easing into my morning, hot shower, run downtown to buy a set a silverware for 8 bucks, chocolate and peanut butter Builder's Bar on the way, mom bringing me my final W2 form for last year, getting a lift up to the University for my art modeling gig, being requested back for next week's classes, walking to collegetown for a croissanwich with avocado and mushrooms and sprouts and tomatoes, walking to class and learning about script analysis from a guest teacher, re-connecting with a good friend, going out for drinks with said friend and truly enjoying a wonderfully mutual interaction, thinking to myself as I listened to him talk, "I'm really enjoying this!"  eating French fries with curry mayo, talking all things life, film, and everything in-between with my friend, ginger beer and lemony water, going to the gym for meditation and stretching, feeling a resistant vibration and successfully diving into it, actually feeling it rise and become a giddy giggly bliss bubble of excitement!  Being invited to an awesome show tomorrow with the promise of being on the list at the door, coming home and slipping around on the ice as I walked back, eating granola with peanut butter and honey and craisins and almond-coconut milk, reading the DO book, cuddling and playing with my puppy dog, sinking deeper into myself, discovering my period has ended, brushing and flossing my glorious teeth, washing and moisturizing my beautiful face, enjoying the vision of my own eyes in the mirror and the joy emanating from them, seeing my dog's little tail wiggle when he looks at me, feeling ready for bed and work in the morning.

I hope tomorrow is a nice busy day!  I like working when it's busy and I'm on top of my game.  It's a really fun activity!  AND it's gonna be another day of hardcore Zuzka workouts!  Baller!  Can't wait!!

Love,

Adrienne  

Day 14

Just finished two weeks in a row of going to the gym every day!  Badass!

Today was Day 6 of Zuzka's 30 Day Fitness Program (wow, already 6 days??).  I did her Power Yoga #1 workout, twice.  It was good, just what I needed tonight. 

Things today that were great:  Plenty of sleep, hot and cold showers, face scrub, moisturizing my skin, chocolate and half a banana for breakfast, all my favorite people at work today, an easy-going day of bussing tables and making drinks, a green smoothie for second breakfast, chit chatting with co-workers, being told of my beauty by one of our regulars (aw shucks), making spectacular cappuccinos, eating dessert nibbles, talking about sex (too loudly) with the kitchen staff, checking out my own ass in tights and a mini skirt as I passed by the many mirrors in our cafe, slow and languid movement throughout my workday, seeing a friend whom I haven't seen in a while and having a chat, eating an amazing burger on a salad (with garlic-braised purple cabbage, gruyere, sriracha-aioli, and avocado on mixed greens... YUM!), following that with a rich and chocolatey flourless torte, listening to Pretty Lights while I polished sugar bowls, buying my favorite Organic Food Bars at the Chiropractor's office, making a $106 payment to the chiro, feeling the relief of keeping my financial commitments, daydreaming of my new apartment setup, envisioning my new big bedroom (and closet!!), walking my doggie by the river, walking out onto the thick ice and seeing through it clear as glass to the rocks in the river bed, seeing the colorful tropical-esque sunset, eating more chocolate and one of my Food Bars, laying around and feeling my body, reading Things Are Going Great In My Absence, making myself an amazing dinner of chicken with broccoli, portobellos, onions, and spinach all sautéed together with pesto (did I say AMAZING?  So yummy!), devouring that shit, perusing Craigslist for furniture and electronics (on the lookout for a couch, chaise lounge, and TV), getting up off my ass and walking down to the gym, doing my yoga workout, lying down and settling into where I am in space-time, finishing this blog post and walking home!

I'm glad I've kept this commitment for 2 weeks!  It really doesn't seem like its been that long... I guess because I was sick for a while and only doing little tiny things at the gym for the first week.  I'm stoked for the rest of the 30 Day Zuzka Challenge!  

Loving life!

Love,

Adrienne 

Day 13

Today was amazing!  I had so much fun. I did Zuzka's Day 5, and boy was I frustrated with myself.  But I did it and I did the best I could, and I really took the time to remind myself that that's all that matters.  I kept my commitment to myself and I did the best I could do today.  

I rocked it at work today though!  We were slammed and I totally kept it cool, and even felt joyous as I worked!  And I made over $160!  Wow!  I'm really pleased with the job I did today.  And I had a great lunch, stopped eating when I was no longer hungry, and bought myself some dark chocolate with cherries :)

Things that were great today:  hot shower in the morning, followed by cold shower to wake myself up, wearing sexy black pencil skirt, finding out my roommate has decided to move out (which means I'll get her nice big bedroom!!  I was asking for this!!), eating an avocado for breakfast (totally sustained me for most of the morning, awesome!), nibbles of food here and there, having excellent interactions with customers from start to finish, meeting a new potential connection for my dad's business, lighting a birthday candle for a customer and bringing it out at the end of their meal as a surprise (I've never gotten to do that before!  Cool!), seeing my friend and his daughter come in for breakfast (she is so incredibly sweet!  I gushed!  So adorable, the way she asked for maple syrup on top of her pancakes was the most precious thing I'd ever heard!), tasting a fucking deliciously rich chocolate-rum torte, rocking the shit out of my workday, having the help of assistants on the floor (made everything soooo much easier) did I mention I rocked the shit out of my workday today??!  Making it home and taking a short nap with my pup, waking up and cooking up a delicious dinner of broccoli, asparagus, kidney beans, spinach, and portobello mushrooms, catching the bus jus in time, eating my dinner on the bus, acting for an experimental film class (doing repetitive motions, like opening and closing a box, and getting paid for it!), excellent conversations with the professor (a former classmate of mine in acting class), a potential new connection with someone who went to the same actin school in Paris that I'm looking at (how cosmic!), getting a ride down to the gym from the prof, working out and doing my best even though I was frustrated and tired, giving myself a good pep talk in the locker room, walking home and daydreaming about my new bedroom, coming home and letting my dog out, reading Things Are Going Great In My Absence, eating yogurt with honey and granola, bandaging up my gnarly knuckles, drinking water, lying down for bed, wearing my deliciously warm crocheted slippers, realizing I forgot to write up my report, doing it and remembering the joy of today and how much better life has been getting.

It really does help to make small commitments and keep them every day.  It has made a difference already, and I look forward to continuing these new habits and creating a new positive, productive way of living that becomes second nature to me.

Love,

Adrienne 

Day 12

I discovered that my dog chewed through the cord to my MacBook!  So I'm writing this on my iPhone.  

I totally rocked that shit at the gym tonight!  I did Zuzka's Day 4 of her 30 Day Fitness Program.  The workout was even tough for her!  But I kept up, which really made me feel great about myself!  I didn't pause the video at all!  It was a rather long workout, about 27 minutes long.  Plus warmup and cool down.  Still, super excellent, full-body ass-kickage!  I'm stoked about it.

Today was actually great.  I woke up and took a hot shower, had a very quick on-the-go breakfast of Luna Bar and banana, got to work and had some good morning chit chat with co-workers, got slammed and still kept my head about me (an 11-top showed up in the middle of the day!  Totally threw me for a loop, but I made it work!), had a great lunch followed by delicious waffle dessert with chocolate-espresso sauce and whipped cream, got my tips ($60!!! Wow!!! That's a lot for a Sunday!!  That means I made about $20 an hour today!  Fuck yeah!), felt through the contrast as I walked home, took Ollie for a walk to the park, made it home and had a nice long nap, woke up and stretched and felt some fear and such, sat with my Divine Openings book and read the perfect passage for what I was feeling and experiencing (of course), felt a wonderful release of resistance, sat in a good feeling for a while, watched the video for my upcoming Zuzka workout, got ready, went to the gym all bundled up, rocked the shit out of that workout, stretched a lot, lay on my back a while and basked, walked home feeling great, took a nice hot shower and shaved my legs, moisturized my entire body (massaged my thighs!), ate some yogurt with honey and bananas and granola, cuddled with Ollie for a long while and just felt so satisfied and content, brushed and flossed my beautiful teeth, and now I'm here writing this and enjoying the review of my day.  It's been really wonderful, especially post-workout.  I'd like to start doing my workouts in the morning so I can feel this good endorphin buzz all day at work.  Tomorrow will be busy and I'll have to do my workout earlier in the evening than usual, with no time for an afternoon nap.  That should give me the impetus to turn my schedule around.  I'll be getting to bed around 11:30 and I'll be wiped out from a very long day!  A good day though!  Filled with things I love to do.  On Wednesday I'll be doing power yoga and I can do that in the morning.  

Love,

Adrienne 

Day 11

Today was everything I needed it to be.  My "Active Rest Day" was exactly that:  Active and restful!

Good things about today:  Hot shower on my achy muscles first thing in the morning, perfect brunch at the Cafe (free fresh squeezed OJ and a coffee to boot!), heading to the gym right afterward to walk on the treadmill for 20 minutes and then stretch,  coming home and taking a nice long afternoon nap, waking up just before the sun set, taking Ollie out to the park at twilight, drinking lots of water, going grocery shopping and getting almost everything on my (forgotten) grocery list, eating granola with peanut butter and bananas and watching a few episodes of Dexter (Season 4), sitting back and getting blissed while listening to my Divine playlist on YouTube, making a tasty melange of asparagus, broccoli, and portobello mushrooms sauteed in butter with lemon juice and some avocado on the side (wow, so simple and so good), new lotion for my wintery skin, going out dancing at a Disco Dance Party!  So fun!  Such great music!  My friend arriving and making the night even better, coming home and eating half an avocado, recognizing a habit of complaining just to socialize, seeing old patterns clear as day and deciding I want something new, taking my power back and letting it be, feeling my feelings successfully, relaxing here with my doggie and The Presence.

That about sums it up!  It really was a good day.

Love,
Adrienne

Day 10!

Wow!  I'm already one third of the way through my personal 30 day challenge!  And I just completed Day 2 of Zuzka's 30 Day Fitness Challenge!  Holy shit.  Three days of intense Zuzka work outs in a row.  I'm kicking ass and taking names!  Tomorrow is my active rest day, so I'll be walking on the treadmill and stretching or something.

Today I worked out in just a sports bra and shorts for the first time.  I usually wear a tank top, but my bra strap came undone and I had to take off my tank top so I could fix it.  Then I was like "fuck it, let's do this."  It's cool to see fat giggling, but also to be able to see muscles underneath just getting ready to reveal themselves.  My upper body looks amazing already.  I'm looking forward to having a ripped up core.  My legs are stellar.

Post workout tonight.

So my goal, I've decided, is to lose 20 lbs of body fat.  I want to weigh around 135, and tonight I weighed in at 157.8  I seem to hover around there, so I'm looking forward to trimming my diet down and watching the fat melt away.  I can already feel my body getting stronger.  Just imagine what a month of doing this Zuzka routine will bring about!  An amazing, strong, athletic body that kicks ass and takes names!

Today was good.  I thought it was going to suck, because I didn't get much sleep, and the morning felt so slow.  But we got a nice lunch rush, and I made good tips.  I got some things delivered to me that I needed, which saved me a trip across town through the snow and slush.  I had a delicious Kevita drink (mango coconut is my favorite flavor).  I got to taste the special today (Beer & Buckwheat Crepes with roasted beets and sweet potatoes, carmelized onion, wilted spinach, and balsamic-sherry reduction), which was delicious!  Then I wasn't all that hungry for lunch, so I made a very petite salad.  So cute!  One of my co-worker's birthday is tomorrow, so we got to share a piece of really yummy cake that had raspberries, lychee, and was topped with a rose meringue.  Wow, so tasty!  The dish washer brought in Hershey's kisses for all of us, which were delicious.  I sliced meat and listened to music in the morning. I listened to more good music as we cleaned up.  Fed the fishies and wiped down tables.  Made it to the bank, divvied up my dollars appropriately.  I got home and immediately took Ollie out to the park, which was funny because whoever shoveled the sidewalks that go through the park piled up the snow so that Ollie couldn't get through to where the grass would be... and the snow was so thick that when he did make it through, he was basically swimming!  It was hilarious to watch him just plow through it, face-planting at first (god, why is it so funny to see animals face-plant or slip or stumble?).  Sweet thing, by the time we got home his paws were all muddy, so I had to put him in his crate so he could dry off.  I took a nap.  Woke up around 9.  Watched my Zuzka video and ate some cottage cheese with half a peach.  Balanced my check book.  Let Ollie have a little play-date with my upstairs neighbor, who is in love with him.  Got ready for the gym, Ollie came back just in time, and I took off!  Had a great work out!  Paused the video in-between sets (once to fix my bra, the second time to catch my breath and drink some water).  Made it home, took a hot shower, and had a great dinner (2 eggs over easy, rosemary-garlic roasted red skinned potatoes, kidney beans, spring mix, Newman's Own creamy balsamic).  Connected with an old friend, possibly making plans for next weekend.  Now I'm feeling sleepy, ready to cuddle up with my puppy and drift away.

Love,
Adrienne

PS:  Happy Valentine's Day!

Day 9!!

Holy shit, I just finished the best workout of my fucking LIFE!  I found Zuzka's 30 Day Fitness Challenge schedule on her website, and I decided to start doing it.  I began with Day 1, ZShred #16.  Wow, it totally kicked my ass, but I kept up!  I did her warm-up #2 to start and ended it with her cool-down #2.  So perfect.  I am wiped out!  I'm so pleased I was able to keep up with her for the most part (I paused the video once for about 15 seconds, but I kept going as soon as I could!).  I've always been intimidated by her non-beginner workouts, because the beginner ones wipe me out sometimes.  But I've decided to push it, because I love the challenge and I know I can do it.  I want to be athletic, and this is what it takes to get there.

Today, so much was good.  I worked, had a good time.  I'm getting along better and better with my co-workers.  I took a good picture on instagram.  I had a good breakfast of eggs and potatoes.  I got to eat a mistake (baguette with ham, lettuce, cucumbers, fromage... tasted like Paris!).  I am getting better and better at navigating the co-worker interactions with my sealegs.  I made some money and got my paycheck.  The pace was easy-going.  I saw some of my favorite regulars.  I served with authenticity and sincerity.  I had a good salad for lunch.  I drank lots of water.  I got an email back from L'Ecole Jacques Lecoq!  In French!  And I understood about 90% of it at first, and upon further reading, understood about 99%!  I'm so excited about this!  My "French brain" is coming on and waking up!  I thought I'd forgotten a lot of my French, but all it takes is a little bit of focus on that aspect of my memory to wake it up full-force!  I am certain that when I go there I'll be fluent within a month.

I had a nice walking meditation on the way home, using the contrast to focus myself inward.  Sat for a moment within myself and then took a nap.  Woke up and just felt through some feelings.  Got up and found out that a co-worker needs her shift covered on Monday (an answer for my request for more money!).  I took the time to sit down and budget out my dollars that I just received today.  I talked aloud to The Divine and felt a connection re-forming/strengthening/loudening.  I re-read the French email and realized the woman complimented me, saying it seems as though I already have a good level of comprehension in French!  This made me SO HAPPY!  I just couldn't even do anything, I just beamed!  For like half an hour!  Just sitting in this glorious happy space!  Then I came to the gym and ROCKED my own world!!

This is a great life, and it's getting better and better!  I'm looking forward to working tomorrow.  Oh yeah, and I have a date for this Saturday morning!  Brunch!  Pancakes, bacon, and eggs, oh my!

This is SO GREAT!  Maybe next entry I'll try and do it all in French!  I love speaking French!

What's best about this whole France thing is that I have something delightfully tangible to focus on and dream about!  I have a direction in which my energy is flowing just because my desire is magnetizing me forward!  It feels so good to have that flow back.  I now know what every effort I make is going towards.  All of this working out, all of the working, all of the practicing, it's all a bunch of little steps toward something I love and am excited for.  And what's best is I already have the feeling!  The feeling of excitement is what I wanted back!  I don't need anything else to manifest, I just wanted to have my zest back.  And I got it.  It always comes back, it's who I naturally am.  So really, it's not coming back to me, I'm coming back to it.  I'm finding my way back to it every day, and I'm getting better and better at just staying in it.  But I am allowed to stray away from it if I like!  I totally have the free will to do that!  I can go wherever I like, get grumpy or happy.  I can push or let go.  I can allow or force.  One works better than the other, one feels better than the other.  I intend to choose being in the Flow as much as I can.  Simply having that intention is all that matters.

Love,
Adrienne

PS:  Just got home and made myself the perfect dinner!  Chicken thigh meat sauteed in butter, with kidney beans and pesto; rosemary-garlic roasted red-skinned potatoes, and a little side salad of spring mix and raw red bell peppers.  So delicious all together!  I'm thankful for all the ingredients, and all the orchestration that brought them to my plate!  Scrum-diddly-uptious!

Day 8! Woot Woot!

Today's workout ROCKED!  I did the ZRopes workout again, after not working out intensely in a few days.  I plowed through those burpees like a motherfucker!  The first day I did them, I was getting winded and had to pause in between sets of 10!  This time I just did all of them right in a row, no pausing!  And the second round, I did them all straight through with only a few seconds pause here and there.  It was really satisfying to mark such progress in such a short amount of time.  I always feel super pleased with myself after I work out with Zuzka, because it's really intense and it's awesome to know that my body can do something so intense.  And to see it only get better at doing that intense thing is super exciting!

Things that were good about today:  Waking up to a sunshiny living room, reading from Lola's book and checking in on the Divine Openings forum, not feeling very hungry for the first half of the day, just enjoying some water with lemon in the morning, relaxing, looking at the website for L'Ecole Jacques Lecoq, sending out an email entirely in French, walking Ollie to the park, meeting a new girl there who also had a little dog with her (Gizmo), watching Gizmo and Ollie play together, watching Ollie run terrified from Gizmo as he tried to hump Ollie (hilarious!), getting home and sitting still for a little bit, masturbating (a lot... I had a dream that was just radiating sexual frustration), making a "Chef's Plate" for myself (garlic-rosemary potatoes and onions sautéed together with some cheese, piled on a bed of mixed greens and topped with 2 fried eggs... a little bit of Newman's Own balsamic and some Frank's Red Hot made it perfect) for lunch, getting all the dishes done, taking a nap with my pup, waking up and jerking off again, cottage cheese and peaches, doing my laundry and watching the Winter Olympics (women's half-pipe snowboarding, men's 1000 meter speed skate), reading about how Google is setting forth to extend the human life (I've been telling people, I plan on living to be 700), not losing my fingers to the bitter cold, feeling thankful that my home is warm, getting to the gym right on time, kicking ASS at my workout, eating an açaí-cacao bar pre-workout, almost falling on my ass on the treadmill (I wanted to see if I could do grapevines on it!  Nope!), doing grapevines in the yoga/zumba room instead (I'm gonna add this into my warm up every time!  It's really good, get's the blood flowing, and it's great non-linear movement), watching couple's figure skating while cooling down on the treadmill, sinking deep into pigeon pose (my favorite), daydreaming about Paris while I stretched, walking home feeling warmer than on the walk to the gym, discovering I'll be getting my period in a day or so, eating half a red bell pepper (so sweet!) and a bunch of baby carrots with peanut-butter and honey (best combo ever), having clean laundry to come home to and wake up to in the morning, reading Lola's latest 5 Day Retreater Newsletter, finding that still place within me throughout the day (especially while masturbating ;)

What a great day it was!  I like looking back on my day and realizing that I actually had a lot of enjoyable things happen!  How lovely :)

Ok, off to beddie bye!

Love,
Adrienne

Day 7

It's officially been a full week of going to the gym and writing my appreciation lists!  I'm still sick today, so I just sat on a recumbent bike and read an article about Matt Damon while I pedaled for 35 minutes.  Then I stretched and did some yoga poses.  Simple, easy going.

Today was a really good day.  I woke up after having crazy dreams.  Took a hot shower, drank some peppermint tea.  Then I prepared a lunch for myself and booked it out the door to catch a bus up to the college.  I was running late and I thought for sure I would miss the bus.  But not only did I not miss it, but it was a couple minutes late!  Thank God!

Made it up to the college and ran into 3 actor friends of mine!  Had a nice chat with one boy, from Brazil, and asked him about his experience being in college where he had to learn in English.  He said it was challenging, but worth it.

Then I went to the classroom where I had been asked to visit.  I and another actor were asked to come in and be directed in 5 different scenes.  The directors had 20 minutes total to rehearse, block, and shoot each scene!  It was great fun, and it was nice to meet the other actor, who ended up giving me a ride to the studio where I was going next.  The teacher of the class asked me if I could come help her for another project next week!  Cha!

While visiting acting class, I worked on an intention exercise with my former classmate.  The teacher liked it so much that she gave us both a hug!  I love intention work, it's really great.  It's awesome to be at the point where now I can just pull some imaginary circumstances out of my ass and work with them believably.  I'm really pleased with how far I've come as an actor in just two short years.  I'm looking forward to the next stage of learning.  I am enjoying daydreaming about the possibilities of Paris as a next location!

After acting class I got a burrito at this place where I used to work.  It was delicious, and exactly what my body needed.  I had barely eaten anything all day.  I'm glad my appetite is returning!

Now I'm just perusing the Divine Openings forum, Ask Lola page, and articles and such.  I'd like to make it more of a habit to just immerse myself in that vibration more often.

Everything is falling delightfully into place for me, and very easily.  I'm getting better at getting out of the way, and noticing when I'm decidedly in the way.  I intend to get out of the way, but I also intend to just fucking go with my life and enjoy it and stop being so uptight about getting it "right" or whatever.

Last night I got a delightful email from an acquaintance who encouraged me to shine my light and give of my gifts the best I can.

Love,
Adrienne

Day 6

On a roll!  Just did elliptical for 10 minutes again, and some simple stretches and a plank or two.  Still under the weather, so I don't want to push it.

Didn't feel very hungry today.  I hardly ate anything, and I felt fine, energy-wise (aside from being sick).  I'm hungry now for some protein though.  It's interesting, the more sedentary I am in my lifestyle, the more I want to eat.  But when I'm active and doing stuff, I don't really think about eating as much except for pre and post workout, and even then I just kind of give my body what it's asking for in the moment.  I know you're "supposed" to eat such-and-such at such-and-such time, but I'm really not on a very regular schedule, so I just go with the flow and eat what I crave.  And since I'm usually craving healthy food, it's a pretty good system.  On the weird day when I'm craving junk food (like a few days ago... craving a donut?  That actually has never happened to me, I don't really like donuts...), I just let myself indulge.  I don't make a diet out of junk food, and every time I start making it a habit my body lets me know it doesn't really agree with what I'm doing, so I find what I'm really craving (usually it's physical activity) and I go for that.

Anyway, I had a good and productive day today.  I ran some errands in the morning, then went up to the University to model for an art class for a few hours.  Then I visited my old acting class, and had a great time!  It is so much fun watching the new character work students!  That's definitely my favorite semester, along with Intentions.  I'm going to class again tomorrow to do an intention exercise with a former classmate of mine.  I'm looking forward to a day filled with acting and fun!  Yay!

Things I appreciated about today!  Waking up from important dreams, feeling like Good Work was done during my sleep; eating banana and peanutbutter for breakfast; hot morning shower; getting errands done in a timely fashion; seeing my old roommate (I'd been thinking about him earlier) at the bank; kind service at the bank and the dog food store; seeing the happy receptionist at the chiropractor's office; looking at fabric remnants to kill time; drinking a delicious and healthy smoothie; making it right on time to the bus stop; getting stared at by a bunch of college freshmen while they draw my naked body (so funny when you think about it!); seeing all of my old friends from acting class; playing with a new character on stage; re-connecting with an old friend in a good way; great conversations after class; a good practice audition; getting a ride to the gym; a nice gentle workout followed by a good in-body experience; walking home and speaking French to myself; daydreaming about living in Paris; chillin with my doggie; dreaming up my dinner!

Love,
Adrienne

Day 5

Yes it's technically Day 6, but I keep forgetting to write everything at the end of the day!  And since I'm a night owl, sometimes my day doesn't end until 6 in the morning.

I went to the gym after work.  Since it was my "active rest day" as Zuzka calls it, I just went there to rest in Sivasana.  I went really deep into it for about 20 minutes, then ended up rolling on my side for a while, stretched a little, and just sat.  I was there for about an hour just resting.  It was nice.

I had a good day at work.  I made the amount in tips that I asked for.  I ate a really good meal afterward.  I saw my favorite French ladies!  I also saw another good friend of mine and we talked about her French immersion course she'll be taking over spring break!  Coincidence?  I think not!

I really appreciated the sleep I got today.  I've been under the weather for the last couple of days, so I've needed all the sleep I can get.  It's good though, because I can feel my body using this to get stronger and healthier.

All is well in my world.  Just spent like 6 hours or more watching Dexter Season 3.  I love that show.  I'd seen Season 3, but I needed to revisit it because I couldn't remember if I'd seen the whole thing.  Now it's time for Season 4!  All in good time though :)  It's so easy to get addicted to shows in the winter, because there's nothing exciting going on in my real life compared to the excitement of a Miami crime drama!  Makes me want to go to Miami!

Anyway, that's about it for me today.  Sleep and Dexter make for happy Adrienne.  Also, delicious pesto chicken and rice.  Yum!  And hot tea and lots and lots of water.  And prayers for my Grandma.  And cuddles with my doggie.  And feeling all the emotions of being a Human.  There's so much to feel.

Love,
Adrienne

Day 4

I did it, even though I really didn't feel like going.  I went to the gym and used the elliptical for 10 minutes and watched the American ice skating couple on the Olympics.  It's all I needed, and I'm glad I went.

Today's experience was an experience worth experiencing.  I woke up early to a pink sunny living room.  I had brunch with a friend and we talked about Divine Openings.  It was good to connect with her.  I brought my doggie with me to brunch and everyone fawned over him, which is always nice.  I had the perfect amount of pancakes, bacon and eggs.  Everything was delightfully flavorful.  I went home and took a delicious nap, and was afforded extra time to do so by my friend telling me she would be late in arriving to make pizza.  I called my grandparents and had a nice conversation with them.  I look forward to visiting with them, hopefully soon.  My friend came over to make pizza. We shopped for pizza toppings and I was struck by how vast a selection of groceries I have available to me on any given day.  We came back to my apartment and she made dough while I tidied up my apartment.  We drank tea and chatted.  I helped roll out pizza crusts, and did a pretty good job at it!  A nice selection of friends came over and we all had a good time mingling and eating really good pizza.  It was a really nice time.  I experienced contrast with my mother, and felt things I really needed to feel.  I'm still feeling, and it's a good thing.  All feelings are good, and I keep reminding myself of that.  I went to the gym and did the elliptical, watched ice skating, and was nicely distracted by how fun it looks.  I came home and felt some more things, and I went to the Divine Openings forum where I found some links to some uplifting and inspiring videos (like the one above).  Really brought tears to my eyes and filled my heart with compassion and love for myself, and the possibility of opening up to that with my mom.  Everything will work out all right.  Now I'm ready for sleep and more sleep.

Love,
Adrienne

Day 3

Did another ZRopes workout from Zuzka tonight!  Damn!  So badass!  I bumped it up a notch, and still managed to plow through all 20 burpees in the first round without much of a break (When I did this workout on Day 1, I had to do 5 at a time!).  Sick!

Today I felt different energy than yesterday.  I had some angry stories running through my mind all day.  But I just let it be, and I did my best to keep it on the inside and not respond to my mind chatter through my actions and words.  I did a good job, and I'm gonna give myself credit.  A month ago, I would have been thrown completely off by that kind of mind chatter, and I would have gotten totally wrapped up in it and would have taken it out accidentally.  I'm getting a really good handle on my vibration, and I'm very proud of myself for that.

Things I appreciated:  getting to sleep in a little, not feeling hungry for most of the day, getting a half an "accident" sandwich right when I was getting hungry, having a nicely busy lunch rush, getting to make my own lovely salad, seeing my boss brighten a little more each day... she is becoming so funny!  I really like her!  relationships at work improving, delicious French Onion soup for lunch, feeling just the right amount of full, taking a nice long(ish) nap after work, dressing up and going to a photo show, talking with my new Italian friend (Pizza party tomorrow!  Yay!), getting to the gym and rocking the shit out of my work out, feeling like a bawss in my badass motorcycle boots and skinny jeans, peanutbutter and bananas, peanutbutter and carrots (!), hearing back from my friends about them coming to my pizza party tomorrow evening!  Reading uplifting messages from lovely teachers on the Divine Openings forum, finding out that my dog Ollie was hilariously humping a pillow while I was away, emailing the former owner of Ollie to thank them for giving him to me, and seeing the crystal clear half moon in the winter sky.  sparkling stars!  Glorious satisfaction in keeping my promises to myself!  Happy encouragement and compliments from the lady at the temp agency who sets me up with modeling gigs ("This is our movie star!  Remember her face, because we're gonna be saying 'Hey I remember Adrienne when...' "), hearing the same thing over and over from the people around me, "Hey, I should get your autograph NOW while I still can...!"  Feeling so good about where I am in my life, savoring the waiting and enjoying the ride.  Getting better and better at soothing and encouraging myself along this path of awesomeness!  Looking forward to where this upward trajectory is bringing me!  LOVING MYSELF AUTHENTICALLY!  So much badassness is rocking my world right now. I'm so glad to be so young and have this much awareness of myself, my navigational tools, my Source, and my Creation!  Things are really going great for me!

Love,
Adrienne

Day 2

Ok, so technically it's day 3, but my sleep schedule is winter-fied, so I'm still counting this as Day 2.  I made it to the gym around 4am.  But I made it and that's all that matters!

It feels so good to keep my commitment to myself!  I brought my macbook, because now there is free wifi at the gym I go to.  I used it to follow one of Zuzka's power yoga videos.  I started out with 10 minutes of very brisk walking on the treadmill, which made my heart sing immediately!  Inexplicable!

So many things to appreciate about today!  First of all, I woke up feeling so relaxed and energized, ready to start my morning.  I love waking up with that feeling!  I took a nice hot shower and ate some yogurt with bananas and honey.  Drank some hot water with lemon.  I dressed in my favorite skirt and I bundled up and walked to work in a glorious, sparkling winter wonderland!  I felt my heart singing all the way to work!  It was so beautiful out!  The sky was amazing, and the snow just felt magical.
At work, I got to slice meat, which means I got to listen to music all by myself in the kitchen downstairs!  I immediately put on this song:

Subsequently I began to dance!  And slice!  Then I went upstairs and chatted with some of my favorite regulars.  They are very sweet, and remind me of my Grandma and Grandpa.  

It was a pretty slow day today, and I felt like I was floating through the day.  I just kept sighing and smiling.  It was a nice day.  I made myself a really good salad for lunch.  Sitting down to lunch was such a wonderful contrast after moving around on my feet all day.  It feels so good to just sink my energy down into my body and root it there.  Yum yum.  

Then, as some drama started brewing, and I had the opportunity to participate in it, I experienced such a wonderful thing!  I started to participate, put forth my two cents, told a little bit of that old story, and then recognized by my Instrument Panel reading that I was creating something I didn't want!  So I stopped!  HAHA!  FUCK YEAH!  That's what it's all about!  That's deliberate creation!

I enjoyed the process of pivoting my thoughts as they kept going back to the drama, and how so-and-so is right and such-and-such should be done about all of this... and I just kept breathing into my Large Self, asking for a Large Self Perspective on all of this, and feeling the ease as I saw that all of them were asking and all of them are powerful Creators, just like me, and that we all have the opportunity to receive the Good that we are being given in any moment.  That the best I can do for my friend is to know that she is powerful, too, and to know that she'll find that Power in her own way and in her own time.  The best I can do is be happy, knowing my own Power, and shining that out in her vicinity.  

When I got home, I immediately took my wonderful doggie for a walk down by the canal near my apartment.  The evening sunshine on the glittery snow was beautiful, and I sat on a bench by the frozen canal and just looked at it for a long while, as my Ollie bear romped like a little lamb through the snow in his hand-made sweater (that I reconstructed out of a hat that I accidentally shrunk in the laundry!).  He's such a cutie.  Light of my life.  I love cuddling with him.  I love having a beautiful little creature that I can snuggle and shower with affection, who just accepts it and enjoys it and even asks for it!  I love being affectionate!

After the lovely walk, I got home and took a long nap.  I woke up at 10pm and had a cowboy breakfast.  It was a little weird this time, but I still ate all of it.  Then I felt sleepy again, so I lay down for a nice long while and cuddled with Ollie.  Then, at 4 am, I went to the gym!  

And now I'm here, and I'm following through on my commitment to myself!  That's such a good feeling!  Man, if I'm feeling this good and it's only Day 2, what will I feel like on Day 30?!  Such good things are on the horizon for me and this amazing world I live in!  

Love,

Adrienne

Day 1

I've decided it's time to start a blog to focus myself on staying tuned-in, tapped-in, turned-on as Abraham likes to say.

Having recently returned from a Divine Openings 5-Day Silent Retreat in California, my attunement to Grace has increased, but I find myself lacking the focus I need to keep myself on track.  So I'm going to give myself a 30 Day Challenge.

My "before" picture.  Not too shabby!

For the next 30 days, I will be going to the gym every day.  I don't have to work out intensely every day.  I just need to go there every day.  My intention is to work out rigorously at least 4 days a week, following Zuzka's workout plans online. The other days I'll do something gentler like a yoga or belly-dance class, or even just walking uphill on the treadmill for 20 minutes or so.  But as long as I get myself to the gym, then I've met my challenge.

The second thing I will do is post a list of all the things I appreciated as I went about my day.  Any little thing at all, as long as it jumped out at me as something to appreciate, I'm going to list it here at the end of each day.

This is my own private challenge for now.  I don't need to share this with anyone, I just want to have an archive of my progress so that I can stay focused.

So since today is day 1, I have met my first challenge.  I did a Zropes workout, which kicked my ass!  Wow, it was so satisfying to push myself through 40 burpees!  Amazing.  I love my body.

Things I appreciated today:  cool music videos, watching Dexter, eating amazing food, indulging in a fluke Dunkin' Donuts craving (this actually never happens, so I was like "fuck it!"), taking a photo of myself in a bikini in the snow (!!), running around with Ollie in the snow and watching him romp, giving Ollie a bath and subsequently petting his freshly fluffed fur (alliteration!), licking up baked bean sauce and egg yolk after finishing a delicious cowboy breakfast (one of my favorites!), hot shower relaxing my shoulders and back and neck, new toothbrush, shoveling snow (satisfying work), Pharrel's video and song "Happy," making it to the gym, Zuzka's awesome and uplifting website, getting scripts for an upcoming paid acting gig (yay! work!), enjoying my inner world for a while, breathing more deeply after working out, eating yogurt with granola and honey and bananas, making commitments to myself and keeping them, lovingly connecting with the Divine Openings community.

Love,
Adrienne


PS.  Forgot to mention my starting weight!  Not that I'm particularly doing this to lose weight (I'm actually doing it because it makes me feel really good.  I love my body as it is now), but it's fun to see things change.  I'm weighing in at 160 lbs.  Let's see where I end up by day 30!